Everyone has a list of shoulds. I should eat better, I should exercise more, I should spend less time on the computer and more time with my loved ones. All the things we know are good for us and may genuinely want, but are so hard to show up for.
One problem with how we approach our list of shoulds is that we expect ourselves to make the transition forever. I will exercise more now until the day I die. But isn’t that the point? It’s not much of a lifestyle change if we don’t keep doing it. That might be true, but we forget how very long of a time “forever” is, how intimidating it can make something.
“Forever” turns failures and reluctance into character flaws. If you can’t achieve this perfect, permanent change, it means there’s something lesser about you. Which gives us even less of a reason to begin and give it our all (and really, why should I begin today if I can start tomorrow and still do it for the rest of my life?).
What’s even sillier about all this is that nothing is forever, or even for a whole lifetime. The unexpected inevitably happens. We fall in love, we get sick, our families need us, we lose a job and find a new one. Many habits wouldn’t survive some of the cataclysmic ups and downs of your ordinary human life.
That’s okay. That doesn’t make it worthless for keeping our habits up until the point of change, nor does it prevent us from putting in some new habit (or putting the old one back again) once we’re a little steadier on our feet. Life comes in seasons; so can our habits.
Sometimes our habits fail for no good reason at all, no upheaval needed. That’s also okay. Perhaps we can take that as a sign that it is time to move on to something different.
So, instead of expecting ourselves to do something forever, we might try to live a bit better for the next little while. A month or three. Give it a try and see how you like it.
This is exactly what I did that broke me out of the vague striving after perfect, permanent change. I exercised for two months to train for a Spartan race with my brother and found that I slept better when I exercised hard, regularly. I cut sugar out of my diet for a month and discovered that I had more energy by the end of the month.
And after the month, I stopped. No guilt, no pressure. Often, but not always, I would find that I wanted to go back to the habit. Sometimes, I would go back, at least partially. The choice was born of experience, not obligation. It really did feel better, and I knew it.
The Pragmatic Philosopher 